Losing Something

I'm not sure, with all that has gone on, how much I've lost or if that loss is forever. After 17 years, I can't just close the door, despite that seeming to be the most likely scenario. My emotions go from one place to another. Right now, being sick, I'm in a tougher place where the tears are coming again after having none for a little over a week. I get the comfort I need from the right places - prayer, scriptures, church and my closest friends - but I also know no one can understand, really understand, how I feel. So in that regard, I am alone. Mixed in with all this is a big ball of hurt that I want to send away but can't. All I can do is continue to seek solace in my faith and with my close friends and then to give it time while I try to put my daughter and I in a place where we can be financially self sufficient. If there is one thing I cannot bare for long, it is to rely on others for financial assistance. I need to be able to do this on my own, so I am working hard at finding a better paying job with benefits. If you're reading, keep me in your prayers.