When The Lights Go Up

I'm sitting here in shock at how fast the clock has ticked away over this past year.  I think once you pass a "certain age", it just hits like speed dial.  And so Christmas is near and I look around in awe and the change it brings in some people.  In the store, smiles on faces as we shop for groceries, people saying excuse me and thank you, people moving out of the way of others.  Of course, I'm not shopping at a mall or going to the store at the peak of business and that may have some effect on my experience.  But what if the real change is in me?

We've experienced a lot over the last few years and it seems as soon as one thing clears up, another is upon us.  But with every prayer, with every blessing we receive, we see a positive future.  It may not be what we dream, but there is joy and security and love.

In this family, we know how to love.  We've been through some rough times - mental illness, health issues, income loss, losing a home, enduring a separation, losing parents (both of mine), losing a long time family pet, etc.  But we've come out on the other side of that and have come to realize that together, the three of us are a rock.  We stand on a firm foundation with our faith.  I feel happy and I look forward to the time Rachel is grown and starts a family of her own.  I look forward to retirement with Jay.  I look forward to finishing my book! 

All this just feels.......better than it used to feel.  I think I'm in a good place spiritually, emotionally and with our family relationships/dynamics.  Simply put, I am happy.  And it's been a while since I felt that way.  But despite everything, this has been with me for about a year.  Of course I have my moments of frustration, anger, disappointment and hurt.  That's part of what makes us human.  But when I look around, I feel happy.  That comes from what counts:  Our families - immediate and beyond - understanding our faith and knowing where we stand, learning to BE who we want to be, not just wishing we could be, and knowing that we all have something to give back to others.  Service is a big part of feeling happy.  When we do for others, even little things, we fill up with the joy of it.  just reaching outside ourselves and to someone else.

I feel more like I did when I was a stay at home mom and my every day life was serene.  I have one child and I loved every single second of being home with her.  I loved every single second of being a good wife to Jay. It meant a lot to me to make these two people happy.  Now, despite working full time and dealing with some health issues I wish I could toss out, I feel pretty serene over all.

Feeling this way has helped me delve deep into what Christmas signifies.  Our Heavenly Father gave us His only Begotten Son that we might return to live with Him one day, free of sin if we follow His teachings.  Although Jesus Christ was not actually born on December 25th, this is the designated day to celebrate His birth.  Remember Him, honor Him, follow His teachings.  Do your best to live your life in such a way that when you die, no one will be able to think of a single negative thing about you.

Isaiah 9:6

King James Version (KJV)

⁶ For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

Luke 2:9-12

King James Version (KJV)

⁹ And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
¹⁰ And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
¹¹ For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
¹² And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.   

 

 

Dove Bathsoap, Oil of Olay, Pink, and My Grandmother

Believe it or not, these things are all related.  Read a bit and find out how:

My dad was in the Army for the beginning years of my life.  When he retired, my parents picked Colorado, rather than their home state of Indiana, for several reasons.  First, they were told to move to a dryer climate to help my oldest sister's asthma and, hey, National Jewish Hospital is right here in Denver, so good move!  Next, they had fallen in love with it on a vacation.  Third, there was a military hospital, Fitzsimmons Army Medical Center, close by.  All in all, a good choice for our family. 

However, this move meant we were not close by our only living grandparent, my mother's mother.  She flew out to visit us - back in the days when you dressed up to fly because it was a special event and not something people did all the time.  Sometimes we vacationed "back home" in Indiana to see her and other relatives.  But overall, I was relatively distant with her when I was small.

As I became a teen, I began to have a bit more contact with her.  We spoke on the phone off and on and I began to write letters to which she always responded.  I still have those precious words tucked safely away.

My grandmother was a member of The Daughter's of The American Revolution, meaning she could trace her ancestry at least that far back.  In fact, a relative of hers, Jane McCrea (spelled also as McCray and the way my grandmother spelled it), was one of the factors in the escalation of the American Revolutionary War when she was scalped, thus killed, near Fort Edward in New York by Native American Indians fighting on the side of the British.  There is a painting from 1803 or 1804 depicting the scene.  There was also a poem which became a folk song called "The Ballad of Jane McCrea". 

Ah, I got carried away with an interesting part of my family history.  Back to my grandmother.....

She was a business woman and belonged to a group I believe was called, Women Business Association.  She worked in a gift shop a few hours a week up until a week before her death at 89 years old.

I admire my grandmother.  I strove to be like her.  And she was my encouragement when I began my own journey into the business world.  She gave me advise, suggestions, and praise for my accomplishments.  And it meant the world to me. But when I was just 21 years old, my mentor, my good grandmother, passed away.  And it was devastating.

So here is the paragraph that brings my title together for you.  I love the color pink.  Always have, always will.  My grandmother left me her pink mixing bowls, which I use to this day, a pink handheld mirror, which I also use to this day, and two pink vases displayed in my hutch.  She told me to use Dove bath soap for always soft skin.  She was right.  I hear compliments on how soft my skin is when I have to see a Dr. or someone touches my arm when speaking to me.  She also told me to use Oil of Olay and although it has improved greatly since those days, I use one of their formulas every day on my face.

My grandmother liked pink, too.  She gave me great advise about skin care.  And, she gave me confidence and support in my career as I tried to be successful.  And I was.

Thanks, Grandma, for all those letters, all the support and praise, guidance and love.  It helped shape who I am and I feel pretty good about that.

Wait For It

Rachel and I were talking tonight and something she said made  an old memory pop back into my head from my childhood.

When I was a teen, we lived in a trailer on the edge of a small town.  Across from our house to the east was a basement that had been dug for a new house to be built on but it had set there a long time before anything further was actually done. 

My parents, my younger sister and I were all home at the time and the weather changed in a manner that caused us to step outside and look to see if there was a tornado in the area.  This may sound insane "to one who has been long in city pent" (John Keats, 1884), but to us, it was a normal practice.  Sure enough, as we looked to the northwest, not one but two twisters were heading at a diagonal directly toward the trailer park we lived in.  We asked my dad, "What are we going to do?" And he calmly replied we would run across the street to the dug out basement and lay flat in it.  Immediately, we asked if we should go now.  He replied, "No, wait for it."  I think back to that now and it makes me laugh.

He said this in a normal, calm voice with little inflection but all I can think of now is hearing it like this:



Thanks to my daughter for helping me get this recording on here.  I would have never figured it out!!

Politics Are Behind Me For Now - On to.......

Shortly after the election, I thought I would start posting solely about politics for a while.  But then I realized I just might sound like a whiny, bitter Republican (which I'm not because I don't trust any  of those guys).  Besides, the hubs is Mr. Political Man and DOESN"T sound whiny, just informed.  Instead, I'm going to talk about something....interesting.

Rachel and I have been watching a series on Netflix call Teen Wolf.  This is not the cute, cheesy Teen Wolf starring the always adorable Michael J. Fox but rather a new version which is a series.  Being old enough to be the mother of all the 'teens' in the series aside, they have some serious eye candy in one actor in particular.  Observe:

Okay, so maybe he's 30 and then I wouldn't be old enough to be.....oh, wait.  Yes I would.  How depressing is that?  Now I understand the saying, "Youth is wasted on the young".  Sigh.

So the "older" guy on the show is also pretty darn attractive and possibly more appropriate for my age:

Seriously, I am NOT old enough to be HIS mother. 

I bet you thought this post was going to be about eye candy, huh?  Nope, just a little sharing of the above.  This post is actually about.....wait.  I think it is about eye candy because I can't really focus.  Pictures can be so distracting.   

Zesty, as in Italian Dressing

Zesty apparently has new meaning that does not apply to the average dictionary definition:

Zesty

zest·y

/ˈzɛsti/ Show Spelled [zes-tee]   

adjective, zest·i·er, zest·i·est.

1.  full of zest; piquant: a zesty salad dressing. 

2.  energetic; active: zesty trading in growth stocks.

 

Apparently, it also has a more......seductive definition based solely on this commercial:

 

 

 



At least seductive enough to cause a formal complaint to be filed by a Christian group called One Million Moms.  I suppose Zesty could be considered close to the word sexy which, let's face it, this guy IS.

 

I don't know......I sort of like it.   

An Open Letter to My Beautiful Girl

I know today seems hard.  The worry, the pressure of finals.  The inability to follow what you want in life right now.  Being sick - again - and having a cough that just doesn't want to go away and draws unwanted attention to you.  I know there are other worries and fears, too, being too private to mention here.  But I promise you these things are only for a moment in time, Sweetheart.  They only exist for your benefit, for learning, even if we cannot understand why or what the result is supposed to be in the end.

A moment in time and then.....life will change, blossom anew.  It will spin a new web around you with lines that are there for you to explore, leading to new wonders, new adventures, new friends and experiences.  They will lead to all the things you have dreamed of in your happiest moments, if only you hold tight to the line you must finish at the end of this week. 

Now is a time for patience.  Faith.  Hope.  Now is time to know how loved you are by so many people.  You have such a kind heart, such a sweet and loving soul.  You wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally.  You wouldn't squash a bug you fear in your pursuit of the woman you desire to be.  You are always the one to bring resolution to your friend's squabbles.  You are always the one to let a teacher know how much you appreciate their efforts.  You are always quick with a hug, the one who notices someone is sad or needs to talk.  You are AMAZING.  This good person you are is the reason so many speak so highly of you.  You are a gift to those who know you.  And they know it!  But can you imagine Joseph telling you that he thinks you are a gift to him?  Awkward!!

With every moment you fear or hurt, let the sun bathe you in its warmth.  Let your heart fill with the good because it so very much outweighs the bad.  Let your smile light up your face!  You have always been my ray of sunshine!  Think of when Sister Jones sings (and dances) to This Little Light of Mine.  You just HAVE to smile when you do!  Well, YOU are that little light for so many, but especially for Daddy and I. 

More than anything, I so want to see you feel joy and happiness every day.  These sad times break my heart because I see your potential, your future every time I look forward and it is very, very good, Rachel.  Because that is who you are.

I love you.  Hang on to any happiness, joy, smile and laugh you can until this storm passes.  It WILL pass and then you will be able to see the light again.  I am with you.  God is with you.  You are precious and more loved than you can even begin to understand.  I love you, my Angel Baby; my Boo; my Bean; my Pooh, my Sunshine....I could keep going but I hope I'm standing nearby as you read this and you might roll your eyes!

Love you more than you know,
Mama  

Heart

Once a heart of a lion
Once the strength of a man
Once the drive of a warrior
Once the motto "I can"

Once the fortitude to pursue dreams
Once the will to make it so
Once the roar of the ocean
Once an even tempo

Weariness consumes now
Exhaustion every pore
Knowledge of a future
Instead the hope for more