Quick Update

Rachel tried out for the Drama Club. Two Friday's ago, she got in the car after some auditions and burst into tears, certain she would not make it in to the play. But the following Monday, she found out she had a small part as a nurse to Toad in an adaptation of The Wind in The Willows. This play is called "The Mad Adventures of Mr. Toad". She was thrilled and she's made some new friends in Drama Club, particularly a couple of boys that she's befriended. Of course, we aren't telling Daddy she's got boys for friends.....lol. Aside from that, things are going pretty well for her.

I've been a bit down in the dumps and couldn't bring myself out of it. When I had to go to the Dr. for a physical because she prescribes my blood pressure medication, I mentioned what had been going on. After a blood test ruled out other factors, she believes it's situational depression and gave me some mild meds for it. Living with a spouse with chronic depression, I kind of knew that's what it was. But already, four days later, I'm feeling a little better and as the weeks pass, I'll improve even more.

Lots going on with Jay and his job and it's left us up in the air for now and I just can't cope with even typing it all down. Hopefully, the best of the possibilities will come about. So if you pray, please do so for us.

That's about all that's coming out of my brain for now.

Nothing to Say

I looked at my blog and realized it had been quite a while since I posted anything. But I'm a bit run down, overly tired, a little bummed out lately and it's been hard to think of anything, let alone keep this blog going. So, a little break never hurt anyone.

??????

Sometimes, if I read old posts and the order they are in, I sound insane. Or moody, at the very least.......

Moving 9-11 Posts I Read

I try not to focus too much on 9-11. I usually let the day go by without watching any news and without really thinking much about it anymore. That's because it always makes me cry - even 7 years later. So this year was no different (except as a Menopause Madam I am more apt to cry even than before *roll eyes*). Today I decided to catch up on my blogs that I read and came across this one with these two posts:

http://lightrefreshmentsserved.com/2008/09/11/thoughts-of-911/

http://lightrefreshmentsserved.com/2008/09/11/a-little-gingkoba-wouldnt-hurt-either/#comments

I found some peace in both of them. They were reassuring. And of course they made me cry. But they both just the right thing for remembering 9-11 for me.

Moooaaannnn

I'm sick as a dog right now. Head stuffed, sinuses killing me, headache, coughing and whizzing, body aches, etc. I'm miserable. Hopefully anything I write today makes sense, but if not, just blame the drugs.

Rachel had a camp out sleepover on Friday night. She had the best time, despite the fact it was only around 50 degrees at 9 p.m. They started at 5:45 on Friday night with pizza for dinner and then cookie decorating. They set up the tents (the dad and brother slept in one and the girls in the other - the mom slept inside). Then they stayed up until midnight. At 5 a.m., our phone rang. It was just Rachel saying good morning. Apparently all the girls called their parents on a cell phone at 5 a.m. Hahaha, it was so funny - NOT! But a little cute and ornery. Then on Saturday morning they went to Home Depot for a craft project, which is apparently for Jay's upcoming birthday so we haven't seen it yet. Not surprising to me that she can keep this secret until October 10th. She's pretty good at that. Maybe I should worry about that being she's becoming a teen.....

Anyway, I started getting sick on Saturday. Rachel's cough/cold was a little worse, but we all rested on Sunday and she was good to go on Monday for school. Thankfully, Jay was home to take her and pick her up from school because I was clearly not very capable. He even went in to work a little later and took her to swim practice for me so the chlorine wouldn't aggravate my asthma which is giving me trouble because of whatever this stuff is. I didn't have it in me to even walk her to the bus today, so I drove her to school instead.

Last week, she went to Drama Club to try out. The teacher had told me they come in and read one small part of the script and that's all but he had her read 3 different parts and wants her back today to read some more. It sounds like she's certainly in. But we'll see for sure after today. And she told me for one part, she used her English accent which is way cute. She's really excited about it, though initially she thought she didn't want to do it because in Destination Imagination she got to help write the play. However, once there to try out, she realized how much fun it would be and now she can't wait to do the play and wants the lead part. I love that she's so excited about it. I gave her one reminder this morning, so I hope she remembers to go right after school. I still worry about her keeping everything straight in her mind.

Okay, I'm beat and need to go back to sleep again.

Politics and It's Old Game of Bashing

I'm married to Political Man. He loves politics, loves debating them with me though not so much anyone else - but then I pretty much, in most areas, agree with him so it's not a challenge, listens to talk radio about it (he's a trucker so has lots of time for talk radio), reads quite a bit about it and seeks out several arenas to get his information. Not so much my cup of tea - this living and breathing politics. Why? Because I find the bashing of the politician and ignorance of others/voters to be appalling. And I'm not just talking about the bashing of the politicians or their parties toward each other. I'm also talking about small minded, condemning people bashing them for whatever reason. It's very difficult to listen to someone speak about politics when they've only gotten their info from the liberal nightly news. It's hard to listen to people who think half-truths are full truths. It's hard to have people blinded by the bashing of one political party to another. I never believe the ads I see or what I read/hear on newscasts, newspapers, agenda set internet info pages, etc. Although I don't live it like my husband does, I pay attention and follow up on accusations and promises - what's the politician's record and, even more importantly, WHY did they vote this way or that. You can't expect the truth - not from the guy you think you want to vote for and not from the media pushing their own agenda. Oh, and over and above all these - you CANNOT in any way, shape or form, assume Hollywood knows what they are talking about. Good grief, they don't even LIVE in the real world. How can they know what real life is like? Well, they don't. So, here's what is burning me:

You're a Dem and you don't like McCain but you especially don't like his choice of running mate. You hear on the news her 17 year old daughter is pregnant by her boyfriend. You hear Palin is a religious person. You seek out anything condemnable about that situation. Talk show hosts (particularly night time ones), news media and comments on blogs, news pages, etc all slam this little girl and Palin over this dilemma the girl finds herself in. Oh, so you never had pre-marital sex? Well, if you're NOT jumping down Palin or her daughter's throat, you probably never did have pre-marital sex. So you're bashing religious beliefs and the fact that someone who calls themselves Christian has done something or had something occur in their lives that is imperfect. You call them pathetic or hypocrites. You say they are too terrifying to allow close to the presidency because they are religious. This only shows how little you know about faith, religion, striving to be a good person, committing yourself to a religious belief and striving to do your best - and I could go on. But what did you say about Obama's religion issues - being a member of a bigotry run church for over 20 years? Have you ever known anyone who left a church because they didn't/couldn't agree with what was being spewed at the pulpit? That's what most people do. You stay when you, at least, mostly agree with what's being said. Now THAT'S scary.

At this point, it's obvious I'm a Republican. And proud of it. I can't say I'm thrilled with our current president. I can't say I agree with everything going on in the party. But if we really want change - change that Obama rants about but can't speak about without it written out for him - we need to start looking at who/what we are allowing to represent us in Washington overall. The reason our politics stink is because we put people who stink there. Now we have to lie in the bed we made. We allow the immoral, unethical, detrimental behaviors and passing of bad laws or tossed in "extras" and then pretend it didn't happen. Years later, we want to complain about it. Maybe we should have thought it through before it happened. That's a novel thought.

So that's my political rant. It's shorter than it should be to get my point across, but it's all I've got in me today. I just hope people start opening their eyes and take responsibility for the mess we've made.

A Lie Can Bring Down the Whole Thing

I've been in a situation for 14 years of having someone closest in the world to me be continuously dishonest with me. It's bled into many aspects of our relationship and it's caused a distrust that just never goes away now. I'm not sure what to do or how to handle it, but it's caused a good deal of financial and emotional stress in my life and I'm just weary. The lying began at the very beginning of the relationship, which I wasn't aware of for several years, and just continued. Sometimes over very small things, but the first known lie, had I known at that time, would have been a deal breaker - I would have never considered the relationship any further. So now I'm in a place where I have to wonder how much of what's said is truth and how much is lie because although some things are lies over VERY big issues, some are lies over the most ridiculous things. Every word out of this person's mouth becomes something to distrust. That's not to say they lie all the time. They don't. And oddly, lying to others in any way, for any reason, is a reason for this person to be distraught. I've just got no idea what to make of it. Or where to go from here. I guess I just have to be on guard and distrust everything until proven, which is a really lousy way to have to be.

The most recent lying episode has taken a huge financial toll on us. Somehow, it is in my hands to repair that damage and all I can do is do without more. I'm not very happy about it and I can't resolve it - only this person can. I just keep praying circumstances change so that the financial aspect of it is not capable of being damaged.