When The Lights Go Up

I'm sitting here in shock at how fast the clock has ticked away over this past year.  I think once you pass a "certain age", it just hits like speed dial.  And so Christmas is near and I look around in awe and the change it brings in some people.  In the store, smiles on faces as we shop for groceries, people saying excuse me and thank you, people moving out of the way of others.  Of course, I'm not shopping at a mall or going to the store at the peak of business and that may have some effect on my experience.  But what if the real change is in me?

We've experienced a lot over the last few years and it seems as soon as one thing clears up, another is upon us.  But with every prayer, with every blessing we receive, we see a positive future.  It may not be what we dream, but there is joy and security and love.

In this family, we know how to love.  We've been through some rough times - mental illness, health issues, income loss, losing a home, enduring a separation, losing parents (both of mine), losing a long time family pet, etc.  But we've come out on the other side of that and have come to realize that together, the three of us are a rock.  We stand on a firm foundation with our faith.  I feel happy and I look forward to the time Rachel is grown and starts a family of her own.  I look forward to retirement with Jay.  I look forward to finishing my book! 

All this just feels.......better than it used to feel.  I think I'm in a good place spiritually, emotionally and with our family relationships/dynamics.  Simply put, I am happy.  And it's been a while since I felt that way.  But despite everything, this has been with me for about a year.  Of course I have my moments of frustration, anger, disappointment and hurt.  That's part of what makes us human.  But when I look around, I feel happy.  That comes from what counts:  Our families - immediate and beyond - understanding our faith and knowing where we stand, learning to BE who we want to be, not just wishing we could be, and knowing that we all have something to give back to others.  Service is a big part of feeling happy.  When we do for others, even little things, we fill up with the joy of it.  just reaching outside ourselves and to someone else.

I feel more like I did when I was a stay at home mom and my every day life was serene.  I have one child and I loved every single second of being home with her.  I loved every single second of being a good wife to Jay. It meant a lot to me to make these two people happy.  Now, despite working full time and dealing with some health issues I wish I could toss out, I feel pretty serene over all.

Feeling this way has helped me delve deep into what Christmas signifies.  Our Heavenly Father gave us His only Begotten Son that we might return to live with Him one day, free of sin if we follow His teachings.  Although Jesus Christ was not actually born on December 25th, this is the designated day to celebrate His birth.  Remember Him, honor Him, follow His teachings.  Do your best to live your life in such a way that when you die, no one will be able to think of a single negative thing about you.

Isaiah 9:6

King James Version (KJV)

⁶ For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

Luke 2:9-12

King James Version (KJV)

⁹ And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
¹⁰ And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
¹¹ For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
¹² And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.