Maybe I'm Not All That

I do not have a great deal of self esteem.  Deep down inside, I know many positive things about myself but on the surface, I only feel good about two things - being a good mom and being a good employee.  In fact, I'd say I can be a little over confident - at least about work.  I took on so much that I was working 10 hour days, coming home and squeezing in an hour or two many nights, working weekends and I STILL couldn't keep up with everything.

I felt myself falling into a deep pit of despair.  I say this with a flare for the written word but really, I was getting pretty down.  I was feeling run down, disappointed that I couldn't do it all (not that anyone could, but I'd set my standard pretty darn high) and feeling like I failed my boss.

She saw it.  She came to me and said, "I am an over-delegater and you are an over-worker and together, we are not managing it."  No truer words had been spoken in some time.  We hired a part-timer who has worked for my boss before and she's doing the bookkeeping while I keep all the rest of it.

I finally feel like work is manageable and perhaps I can have a life outside of my job.  It's a new concept for me in the workforce.  When I was single, I was notorious for working 12+ hours a day.  I feel rewarded when I work and do a job well, so I put a lot in to it.  But right now, I'm still raising my teenager and she needs me just as much as she did when she was little - just in a different way.  And now I can focus a bit more on things at home and less about work.

I seriously feel much better.